joris killed a mouse with his foot. (in socks)

that's all. what more can i say about that really.

it's worth remembering that

once john and i were watching american idols and some guy sang some schmaltzy song and when steven tyler was sort of raving about it afterwards he went

"i especially liked the way you really brought out all the crescendos and innuendos"

what he meant to say was crescendos and diminuendos. it kind of made me like steven tyler more. like he was trying to speak in music, but he just couldn't. it would be great if he's been doing this his whole life and just no one has ever, ever corrected him because it's SERIOUSLY funny and i feel like you'd never get tired of hearing him do it wrong. 

i'm going to write about my vacation soon and put pictures up

but right now it seems like a momentous task because there are about 800 photos and a lot of them are just the same. It's that thing where you go ok well I haven't taken a photo for a while so you go beserk taking loads of photos and they are all basically the same except you look slightly more weird in some cause you finally get around to smiling after the 10th photo and you end up looking a bit insane.

I was just outside and there was this couple taking photos of themselves next to the canals and the girl went and posed and looked VERY awkward and then the guy went and posed and looked slightly less awkward, but still not like a real human. Having photos taken of yourself is the worst thing because

a) if there are people around you you know they are just going ooh look at her posing for her photo thinking she looks so great.
b) the person taking the photo is obviously going jees can't she just be normal or i can't believe she thinks that's a nice face to make etc etc

Everyone has a photo face that they think makes them look the most dreamy. Mine is probably to put my face a bit to the side and not totally smile cause my teeth look odd in photos. I only realised this when I looked through a bunch of my profile pictures on facebook and went OH GOD I HAVE A WEIRD "I THINK I'M SO MYSTERIOUS" PHOTO FACE. So to remedy this I just stopped looking at the camera properly when I was in photos and then there would just be whole albums where i was looking down a lot AND IT STILL LOOKED LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS BEING MYSTERIOUS. So now I don't even know what to do in a photo which means that I often just talk a lot and hope for the best. The thing is that this all means I'm really vain cause I can't really bear the thought of a photo capturing this moment where I just look the worst. The other worst thing is that when I finally see all the photos I just go oh man why didn't I just look at the camera in this one or why did I decide to really go for it with the smile in this one.

There are some people who just have tons of dreamy photos of themselves where they've moved their heads in just the right way or they sort of lifted their arms a bit and it made them look "interesting" or their skirt is all blowing a bit in the wind and they look from a nice movie and you just know that when they are a thousand years old their kids will show their friends photos of their mom when she was younger (cause EVERYONE does that) and will be all proud that their mom was such a windswept dreamboat.

Basically the way I am dealing with this whole problem is to just decide that you can't trust people who ALWAYS look good in photos because it means they are just spending most of their time practicing for photos and that makes them creepy.

now that i have done further research

i can inform you that i am absolutely right about not allowing a red hot chilli pepper to name your child because

the main singer's child is called Everly Bear.
the flea guy who plays the bass has a child called Sunny Bebop Balzary.

I feel like this could be a real dealbreaker for me, sort of marrying someone and never having spoken about what we could call our children if we had any and then having a child and being like ok i will call this one Thomas and he goes no no no we will call it SUNNY BEBOP.

something that always makes me laugh

is to say "one hot minute"

the other day joris asked me how long two people we were talking about had dated and i said ONE HOT MINUTE, THEY DATED FOR ONE HOT MINUTE. and then jees i laughed. 

then joris ruined everything by reminding me that the red hot chili peppers had an album called One Hot Minute. Let me remind you that this is from the same people that named an album "Blood Sugar Sex Magik" which is one of the worst things you could ever call anything. I feel like if you married someone in the Red Hot Chilli Peppers you would have to be VERY CAREFUL about allowing them to have any input into the name of your child.

actually i'm going to naples on tuesday

i still somehow haven't managed to get my head around the dates.


ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOTE
this weekend was gay pride weekend or something like that in Amsterdam. The main event is the canal parade where everyone goes out on their boats or stands alongside the canals and watches all the boats that are part of the parade. Obviously the boats are all playing loads of lady gaga and there are VERY naked male dancers writhing around and it's all quite something to see. Obviously it started raining halfway through the whole thing and obviously our boat had no cover so we jumped onto the boat next to ours to take shelter. Obviously rain has never been known to dampen a gay mans spirit.


Here are some photos